I have just begun my course in Communication and Collaboration in the Early Childhood Field at Walden University. For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context and described what behaviors this person exhibits that make him or her effective?
The first person that comes to mind in answering this question is my husband. In 32 years of marriage, he has never once raised his voice to me. He is extremely calm and thoughtful. He conveys respect on every level when communicating with me and with others. He is not quick to speak and listens intently to what others are saying. He often responds slowly, because he is thinking before he speaks. He is professing all the information. He doesn’t spend time in idle talk – talking about nothing. When he speaks, I listen because I know he is going to say something important. I ask for his advice about everything, because he has a deep perspective that I don’t think I’ll ever attain. I believe this is, in part, because he listens to everything and everyone around him. I would definitely want to model my communication behavior after him. You would think that after living together all this time, I would be much more like him, but I’m not. Sad to say! I talk too much and too often about nothing. I don’t really listen to what others are saying and am too quick to judge and to state my opinion, as if it really mattes in the grand scheme of things.
According to the National Communication Association, my husband practices many of their recommendations:
1. We advocate truthfulness, accuracy, honesty and reason as essential to the integrity of communication.
2. We strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding to their messages.
3. We promote communication climates of caring and mutual understanding that respect the unique needs and characteristics of individual communicators.
4. We condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity through distortion, intimidation, coercion, and violence, and through the expression of intolerance and hatred.
5. We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice
Just this week, I found myself saying some cruel things to someone and hurting their feelings. I make the excuse that it’s my nature and that I grew up with a parent that was like this, but there really never is any excuse for this kind of communication. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to go and take back all of the hurtful things that I have said to so many people throughout the years. Since I can't do that, I can pay careful attention to what I say, when I say it and how I say from now on.
O'Hair and Wiemann (2009). Real Communication. Beford/St. Martin's. Boston, MA.
The first person that comes to mind in answering this question is my husband. In 32 years of marriage, he has never once raised his voice to me. He is extremely calm and thoughtful. He conveys respect on every level when communicating with me and with others. He is not quick to speak and listens intently to what others are saying. He often responds slowly, because he is thinking before he speaks. He is professing all the information. He doesn’t spend time in idle talk – talking about nothing. When he speaks, I listen because I know he is going to say something important. I ask for his advice about everything, because he has a deep perspective that I don’t think I’ll ever attain. I believe this is, in part, because he listens to everything and everyone around him. I would definitely want to model my communication behavior after him. You would think that after living together all this time, I would be much more like him, but I’m not. Sad to say! I talk too much and too often about nothing. I don’t really listen to what others are saying and am too quick to judge and to state my opinion, as if it really mattes in the grand scheme of things.
According to the National Communication Association, my husband practices many of their recommendations:
1. We advocate truthfulness, accuracy, honesty and reason as essential to the integrity of communication.
2. We strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding to their messages.
3. We promote communication climates of caring and mutual understanding that respect the unique needs and characteristics of individual communicators.
4. We condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity through distortion, intimidation, coercion, and violence, and through the expression of intolerance and hatred.
5. We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice
Just this week, I found myself saying some cruel things to someone and hurting their feelings. I make the excuse that it’s my nature and that I grew up with a parent that was like this, but there really never is any excuse for this kind of communication. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to go and take back all of the hurtful things that I have said to so many people throughout the years. Since I can't do that, I can pay careful attention to what I say, when I say it and how I say from now on.
O'Hair and Wiemann (2009). Real Communication. Beford/St. Martin's. Boston, MA.
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