Communication

For my assignment this week, I was asked to: think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?  I contemplated this question all week and did not think I communicate any differently with my friends, whether Black, Native American or Asian. However, I do communicate differently with people at work and the parents of my students. I don’t speak Spanish and most of my students are Hispanic. I often use my hands to communicate and speak much more succinctly and slowly when communicating. Sometimes I draw pictures or even ask an older sibling to interpret what I am saying to the parents of my first graders. I also lean in and listen much more carefully. Of course, I conduct myself differently in casual social situations using informal communication, than I would say at church or in formal communication with colleagues. I don’t see myself having much informal communication with people at work and have to guard my words carefully, since I am a teacher.

Based on what you have learned this week, share at least three strategies you could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups you have identified. Some communication strategies we have learned this week are to look at people when they are talking and really listen to them. I have trouble with this and I justify it by thinking I am multi-tasking. My daughter often accuses me of not listening to her because I am not stopping and looking at her. This is one area that I have been working on. It’s very hard for me to sit still, be quiet and pay attention. I have been told I can do ten things to someone else’s one thing, and I pride myself in that. A second thing I learned was to validate people when they are talking and to keep my mouth shut. I can nod or say things like “uh-huh” to let them know I am really paying attention. A third thing I learned was not to take it so personally when people are texting. I observed a group of young people for an extended period of time. They were all communicating, laughing and talking and all never seemed to put their phones down. I was surprised that they were so comfortable and not offended. I’m definitely living in a different world than I grew up in!

Collaborating and Communicating in the Early Childhood Field - An Experiment

For my course in Collaborating and Communicating in the Early Childhood Field, my assignment this week is to: record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the SOUND TURNED OFF and respond to some questions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKWskRDtmRA&feature=relmfu

I chose to watch Melissa and Joey. After watching the show with sound, I learned that Melissa is the youngest councilwoman ever to be elected in her district. Joey is a businessman who lost his job in a scandalous Ponzi scheme being run by his firm. Melissa has a sister who is a convicted felon, and Melissa has custody of her two teenagers. Melissa ends up hiring Joey as a live-in cook and nanny to the children, Rider and Lennox.

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating? It is clear that Melissa is the boss and Joey works for her. It also looks like they are not happy with the situation. They seem to be arguing all the time. The people who play the children give off a very different message. They have softened facial expressions and seem to enjoy one another’s company. I was surprised by this, because so many television programs reflect teenagers as constantly fighting. They seem to enjoy the adults and don’t roll their eyes when being talked to. They are often smiling. They seem perky and good-natured. Their body language expresses a carefree lifestyle – that of a teenager.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing? Based on the ways they are communicating, I would say Melissa and Joey definitely do not like each other. They are self-driven and very animated. They make large gestures often and frown a lot. Their arms are often crossed and they lean in and point in one another’s faces. Their mouths are big and open when they talk and it looks like they are constantly arguing. They walk away while the other is talking and turn their backs on one another. They swing their heads back and roll their eyes while listening to the other person. Melissa’s hands are often on her hips and she is pointing her finger a lot. She seems to treat everyone the same way, Joey, her work colleagues, family and friends. However, Melissa and Joey’s body language also gives off the idea that a lot of sexual tension is going on between them. They use their bodies to flirt and their facial expressions also communicate flirting.

Then, I was to watch the show WITH SOUND respond to these questions:

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed? Surprisingly my assumptions about the adult characters were very accurate. They are constantly arguing. They are both very bossy, think they are in control and think the other person is always wrong. I was also surprised to find that I could pick up on this sexual tension between them without listening to any sound. However, I misread the teens. While they look happy and weren’t nearly as animated, they did act like typical teens and didn’t get along all that well.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well? I’m sure I would have made better assumptions about a show I watch regularly, but again, I was surprised at how I was able to pick up on much of their body language.

You should try this experiment. It was very enlightening.

Communication in the field of Education

I have just begun my course in Communication and Collaboration in the Early Childhood Field at Walden University. For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context and described what behaviors this person exhibits that make him or her effective?

The first person that comes to mind in answering this question is my husband. In 32 years of marriage, he has never once raised his voice to me. He is extremely calm and thoughtful. He conveys respect on every level when communicating with me and with others. He is not quick to speak and listens intently to what others are saying. He often responds slowly, because he is thinking before he speaks. He is professing all the information. He doesn’t spend time in idle talk – talking about nothing. When he speaks, I listen because I know he is going to say something important. I ask for his advice about everything, because he has a deep perspective that I don’t think I’ll ever attain. I believe this is, in part, because he listens to everything and everyone around him. I would definitely want to model my communication behavior after him. You would think that after living together all this time, I would be much more like him, but I’m not. Sad to say! I talk too much and too often about nothing. I don’t really listen to what others are saying and am too quick to judge and to state my opinion, as if it really mattes in the grand scheme of things.

According to the National Communication Association, my husband practices many of their recommendations:

1. We advocate truthfulness, accuracy, honesty and reason as essential to the integrity of communication.
2. We strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding to their messages.
3. We promote communication climates of caring and mutual understanding that respect the unique needs and characteristics of individual communicators.
4. We condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity through distortion, intimidation, coercion, and violence, and through the expression of intolerance and hatred.
5. We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice

Just this week, I found myself saying some cruel things to someone and hurting their feelings. I make the excuse that it’s my nature and that I grew up with a parent that was like this, but there really never is any excuse for this kind of communication. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to go and take back all of the hurtful things that I have said to so many people throughout the years. Since I can't do that, I can pay careful attention to what I say, when I say it and how I say from now on.

O'Hair and Wiemann (2009). Real Communication. Beford/St. Martin's. Boston, MA.