Communication in the field of Education

I have just begun my course in Communication and Collaboration in the Early Childhood Field at Walden University. For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context and described what behaviors this person exhibits that make him or her effective?

The first person that comes to mind in answering this question is my husband. In 32 years of marriage, he has never once raised his voice to me. He is extremely calm and thoughtful. He conveys respect on every level when communicating with me and with others. He is not quick to speak and listens intently to what others are saying. He often responds slowly, because he is thinking before he speaks. He is professing all the information. He doesn’t spend time in idle talk – talking about nothing. When he speaks, I listen because I know he is going to say something important. I ask for his advice about everything, because he has a deep perspective that I don’t think I’ll ever attain. I believe this is, in part, because he listens to everything and everyone around him. I would definitely want to model my communication behavior after him. You would think that after living together all this time, I would be much more like him, but I’m not. Sad to say! I talk too much and too often about nothing. I don’t really listen to what others are saying and am too quick to judge and to state my opinion, as if it really mattes in the grand scheme of things.

According to the National Communication Association, my husband practices many of their recommendations:

1. We advocate truthfulness, accuracy, honesty and reason as essential to the integrity of communication.
2. We strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding to their messages.
3. We promote communication climates of caring and mutual understanding that respect the unique needs and characteristics of individual communicators.
4. We condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity through distortion, intimidation, coercion, and violence, and through the expression of intolerance and hatred.
5. We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice

Just this week, I found myself saying some cruel things to someone and hurting their feelings. I make the excuse that it’s my nature and that I grew up with a parent that was like this, but there really never is any excuse for this kind of communication. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to go and take back all of the hurtful things that I have said to so many people throughout the years. Since I can't do that, I can pay careful attention to what I say, when I say it and how I say from now on.

O'Hair and Wiemann (2009). Real Communication. Beford/St. Martin's. Boston, MA.

Professional Hopes and Goals

Well, I’ve come to the end of my 8-week course on anti-bias education and diversity in the classroom. One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I will be more sensitive, receptive and responsive to the needs of the children and their families – that I will see each as unique and special individuals and treat them as such. I have already begun addressing issues of cultural diversity in my classroom on a daily basis. I have put up posters and quotes from people of all different ethnicities. I am using pictures and books that reflect a very diverse group of individuals. I am weaving discussions into the curriculum that address our unique differences, whether physical, racial, religious, cultural, etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yprbmGHKNg&feature=player_detailpage#t=48s

As a Christian, I believe and honor the tenet that we are all created equal. It is because of this belief that I didn’t think I harbored any real or overt prejudices. Throughout this course, however, I have been made aware of the little things that I do and say that may hurt others who are not like me or not the way I think they should be – who are from different cultures.

One goal I have the early field of childhood related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is that cultural diversity, equity and social justice will become part of the coursework for every bachelor’s degree in education on every campus across America. We must recognize that what we are doing, thus far, isn’t bridging the gap of equity and social justice within our educational system. We need more of a focus on anti-biased educational programs.

A brief note of thanks to my colleagues, with whom I have shared the past 8 weeks. I have learned much. I have grown. We have grown together. We have shared some deep insights, discussed many sensitive issues and even touched on some nerves. I am a better person inside for having gone through this course and for having known and worked with each of you. Thanks again and good luck in your future endeavors.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Fact: about 195 different countries exist in the world today.

Fact: according to the U.S. census bureau, the United States’ population includes individuals and families from 150 different countries

For my assignment this week I am to: choose a country of origin that represents a family who is new to the United States, list five ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards a family and describe ways that I hope these preparations will benefit both me and the family.

I chose China. Ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive are: research the internet and read about the country; visit local book stores to find books I can use in the classroom; visit the teacher’s store and purchase posters of people from this country to display in the room; plan my lesson plans around cultural holidays from this country, incorporate cultural foods into my science curriculum and cultural clothing or music into my social studies curriculum. I would invite family members in to read books in the native language, share foods, clothing and music. I would even begin to learn bits of the language, attend language classes, or ask the parents to help me learn the language. Being a Christian, I would visit a local church that serves this population of people – to see how they worship and listen to their music and see how families interact with one another. I would seek out cultural events in my community that celebrate these people and their culture. I would visit the family in their home. I would ask friends and relatives if they know people who have traveled to China or have anything that would help me with understanding the culture.

Learning as much as I can about the culture and incorporating this knowledge into the regular classroom setting will show the parents that I am culturally responsive, that every child is important to the program and that their family and culture are not only welcomed, but will be celebrated. Celebrating this cultural diversity at the early childhood level will help to promote the child’s personal, social and cultural identities, as well as promote anti-bias from the group as a whole. The message will be that everyone is equally special and important. Since “young children are naturally curious about their own and others’ physical and cultural characteristics” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010 p. 12) it will give the students opportunities to have their questions answered in constructive ways. Instead of being singled out by other children, the child from another country will be celebrated. This will lend the much needed encouragement and support and hopefully lessen the culture shock of being in a new country.

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

In my master's course, we are talking about prejudice and inequity. We were asked to answer these questions:

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

I ended up going to high school in the middle of desegregation and was bussed to the “black” side of town. I was white and grown up in the same neighborhood, with the same friends, going to the neighborhood church and school. My world was very small. The tension was terrible. I remember a lot of fighting, yelling and screaming. A black girl beat me up on the bus one time. I was one of just a handful of whites getting on the all-black bus. I was the last one to get on and had jeers and stares. The black bus driver was no help. On my first day of school, a black teacher looked right and me and yelled “we don’t want you here anymore than you want to be here!” That set the tone for my entire high school career. To put it mildly, high school was “hell”! My brother ended up on drugs and alcohol and my sister ended up dropping out. This happened to other friends of ours. The only reason I completed school was that I knew I had to graduate to go to college and being an elementary teacher was all I ever wanted. I was mostly alone until my junior year, when I met two more white girls feeling the same way I did. I kept to myself and made sure that I didn’t go down the “black” hall or into the “black” bathrooms. On more than one occasion, I was pushed into a wall or locker and propositioned by black basketball players. I genuinely felt threatened every day of my high school life and began to hate black people in general as a result of the prejudice against whites.

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

As mentioned above, I was not able to go down certain halls or even certain bathrooms. I wasn’t helped in the library and had no sympathy from teachers or even the school counselors. I was not part of the dominant black culture and was hated. I felt attacked on a daily basis by my Black English teacher. When I would ask her questions, she would answer in demeaning ways and imply that I was stupid. My history teacher used several occasions to openly embarrass me. As a teacher, I now see that the entire culture was against desegregation and adults were taking it out on the students, as well as each other. I only remember two white teachers during my stay at high school.

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

I was fearful for my life. There were knifings and riots at most football and basketball games. I feared being raped by black boys and was propositioned on many occasions. I felt threatened and was made to feel stupid.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

Desegregation would have had to end and allow me to go back to the white high school on the white side of town with all of the friends I grew up with. My best friend’s parents put her into private school to avoid this process. I guess they knew what was coming politically and socially. We met the first day of kindergarten. Our mothers got to know each other, and my mother took care of her for the rest of my school life, until high school. We were practically sisters and are still friends today. When we talk about this situation, she was able to enjoy her high school life in a private, white school and felt safe, secure and loved. For a long time, I blamed my parents for not being able to send me to another school or for not moving away. I also blamed my mother, who didn’t work, for not getting up and taking me to school so I could avoid being on the bus. So, not only did I have all the fears, nightmares and constant verbal attacks, I grew to resent my own parents. I never went through teenage rebellion and was a model child, according to them. This incident sent me into deep depression, which I have battled to this day. I turned completely inward and withdrew from society in general. I stopped eating and probably was anorexic for some years, even though I wasn’t diagnosed. This moment in time has scarred me and I made sure that my children didn’t attend public school at all. I look at most black people through the eyes of my high school experience, even though one of my best friends is black.

Microaggressions - Everyday Indignities

This week, we have been studying microaggression. I was asked to “Describe at least one example of a microaggression which you detected this week or remember from another time. In what context did the microaggression happen? What did you think and feel when you observed the microaggression or when you found yourself as the target of a microaggression? In what ways did your observation experiences this week affect your perception of the effects of discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes on people.”

Dictionary.com defines the term aggression as “the action of one state violating in force the rights of another state; any offensive action, attack or procedure; an encroachment; the practice of making assaults or attacks; offensive actions in general” (2011). When I look at this definition, it doesn’t really fit with simply asking people questions or being genuinely interested in who they are – thus the prefix “micro”. I think asking people where they are from is simply a courtesy, a first step in getting to know someone, like asking them what the weather is like. I’m not sure where the severe psychological harm comes in. I think we can all allow people to “get under our skin” or “make us feel bad about ourselves”. It is a personal choice to move away from that and know these remarks or comments do not define us as individuals. Self-esteem and those assurances come from knowing who you are in Christ, as a child of God. My value comes from Him, and not from what others say about me, assume or even imply.

I haven’t witnessed any signs of this happening this week that I was consciously aware of. I guess Dr. Sue would say that’s because I’m white! However, according to Dr. Sue, I was guilty of it. I work in a school with almost 700 students, 95% of which are Hispanic. Teachers have full-time, bilingual teaching assistants in each classroom. I was invited to a party by one of the assistants invited me to a party and I attended. There were approximately 100 Hispanics and two whites in the room. While sitting at the table, enjoying the meal, I had been talking to a woman for about five minutes. I asked a woman where she was born. I thought this might be nicer than saying “where are you from?” She laughed and said “Old Mexico. What did you think?” About six months ago, I asked another Hispanic in our building where she was born; she seemed insulted and replied “America. What did you think?” So, when I compare these conversations, it seems that Dr. Sue would say that I was in the wrong both times, when I thought I was simply engaging in conversation – wanting to get to know another person.

I do believe that these kinds of offenses are going to simply alienate people like me and prevent us from attempting to get to know others who are different from us. I was born in Oklahoma and was once asked where I was born. When I replied “Oklahoma” the person gasped and said I didn’t sound like an okie. I wasn’t offended at all! I found it humorous. Would this have been considered microaggression? Can a white American be the recipient of microaggression?

Finally, I like people! I am a people person. I like getting to know other people. I think this is why I am engaging in microaggression and don’t even realize it. I thought it was just a natural curiosity. A few years ago, damali ayo wrote a book entitled How to Rent a Negro. I watched her for an hour on public television explaining what I now understand are these microaggressions. At the time, I remember thinking how absurd she was when someone asked if she washed her dreadlocks like “regular” hair. I just saw it as a cultural curiosity. She was extremely insulted. According to Dr. Sue, I was trivializing her culture and engaging in racial bias, stereotyping, microinsults and microinvalidation just having these thoughts.  I have ordered her book and am going to read it with this new awareness that I have discovered this week.

As a child, I was verbally abused. For many years, I didn’t want to acknowledge that. My family was my family and I didn’t know any other way. Since becoming an adult and mother myself, I see that a member of our family was making a conscious choice to constantly berate and demean me. It was very hurtful and took counseling in adulthood to even identify what had happened and how it made me feel. So, if a person is constantly being asked where they are from, when they were born in America, I can see how that might get under their skin or aggravate them. However, we do live in a pluralistic, melting pot. As humans, we all make assumptions about where people are from based on their skin type, language, accent and dress. I don’t think this is the fault of only “white” Americans. When I travel, people assume that I am American. Is it because I’m white and speak English? I think the assumption that Americans are white, English speakers comes from our origin: pilgrims coming from England to America and establishing a colony. This is not to say that they "discovered" America. This does not imply that Native Americans weren't already here. It's just the way people have thought for the past 200 years about Americans. As white Americans, we must begin to realize that people from all over the world have been coming here to make a new and better life. So, naturalized citizens do all look different and have heritages from all over the world.

This microaggression realization is disturbing on some levels and is causing me to look within and re-evaluate who I am in Christ, as a woman, mother, wife, teacher and friend. I do not want to change the way I think on human rights, moral issues or equality, but do not want to absentmindedly offend others. I also wonder if much of this so-called “microaggression” (I don’t even like the word) is really people taking interest in other cultures and people becoming too easily offended. Dr. Sue would say that is microinvalidation or microinsulting. As a woman of God, I know that we are to deem others greater than ourselves. John McArthur (a Christian religious teacher and pastor) speaks on the radio daily. He believes that when we are taking these kinds of “insults” personally, we believe that we have some kind of rights over another that actually none of us has. That is the right to demand our way, to think that we should never be insulted or offended, to believe that it’s all about us. These teachings, again, have caused me to reflect on this microaggression. I’m sure Dr. Sue would say I think this way because I am white.

Finally, my observation experiences this week have not affected my perception of the effects of discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes on people. The research and story from Dr. Sue have made me aware that it does exist. Until this week, I'd never heard of it. So, when I meet a person whom I want to get to know and want to ask where they are from, I might begin the conversation by simply asking generic questions about their family and sharing about my family. I might ask about work, hobbies or other interests instead of starting a conversation with “where are you from?” Maybe in the course of this conversation, my natural curiosity will be abated. Maybe not. Either way, I’m still going to attempt to get to know people because I think that’s the best way to end this cycle of microaggression.

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). “Microaggressions in Everyday Life” with Dr. Sue.

Dictionary.com (2011). Retrieved from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/aggression

Culture & Diversity

This week, I was supposed to ask people the definition of culture and diversity. Things that people said were:

“culture is the way people live”

“culture is all the ways we live – the differences in say the American way vs. Chinese, Indians, etc.”

“diversity is the differences between people of different cultures including different beliefs, values, traditions that one group of people practice. It includes language, dress, foods we eat, holidays we celebrate and our religion”

“diversity is how we are different”

Aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied included in these answers are that culture is many different things. It is the way we do things, our language, traditions, dress, foods, celebrations, etc.

Before this course, I thought of culture as just the differences in our dress, language, foods and traditions. I’m finding out that it’s much more. Comments that were omitted from all the comments were that culture touches every part of our lives.

Thinking about the way other people define culture and diversity has made me realize that we really don’t give culture and diversity much thought. We just all seem to take it for granted.

My Family Culture

For my master’s degree, I am currently enrolled in a course “Perspectives on Diversity and Equity”. For this assignment I am to imagine the following:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture. Give a description of the three items you would choose. Explain to others what these three items mean to you. Describe your feeling, if upon arrival, you were told that you could only keep one personal item and have to give up the other two items you brought with you.

I had to think long and hard about this assignment. Having only 3 items to take with me, and give up everything I own, was a devastating thought. I immediately thought of my wedding ring. I assume this does not have to be one of the three items, since it is on my finger. I think I would take some kind of textbook or teaching materials if my children were still in school. They are grown and in college, so I don’t think I’d need that. I thought about my recipe card file, because it has recipes from my mother and grandmother that I really don’t want to lose. However, if I were dropped in the middle of the jungle, living off the land, a recipe card file would really serve any useful purpose. I decided that I can live without my make-up, curlers and even my toothbrush and toothpaste. Yuk!

After much thought, and consulting with friends and family, the 3 items that I would choose to take with me are: my Bible, a memory album and my recipe card file. I would choose to take:

1.      the Bible

2.      a family scrapbook album and

3.      a bag of medicine

I would take the Bible because I am a practicing, committed Christian. The Bible holds the truths that I try live by: do not steal, do not kill, do not lie, love one another, forgive others, and be kind to one another. These words are very important to me and I would need the emotional support that these words offer me in times of stress.

I scrapbook my family’s memories, and have many pictures and mementos in scrapbooks from as far back as my great, great grandparents. I would choose to take a book that holds some of our family’s history, photos and mementos. I would hope that taking this item with me would keep our family history alive for many generations to come.

I would take the bag of medicine since I don’t know where we are going or what is going to happen. I would want to be able to keep my family healthy as long as possible. I would want to be able to put Band-aids on cuts and give an aspiring for a fever.

If, upon arrival, I find that I can only have one of these items, I would choose the memory album of my family’s history. I have memorized many of the Bible’s passages and so has my family. We would be able to keep our faith alive by talking about the verses we know by heart and the historical accounts of the Bible. The medicine would be sacrificed in the hopes that there would be medicine to be found, or even indigenous plants and herbs for the support of our health.

The insights I have gained about myself, my family culture, diversity and cultural differences in general as a result of this exercise are that our faith in God is very important to me and my family.  I also see that family history is very, very important to me because I spend countless hours putting our family’s history, pictures and mementos into albums. I talk to my children and share stories of our faith heritage and our family history. I put these things in scrapbook albums so that they will be preserved for future generations. I want my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to know who we are and who we come from and hopefully pass on the faith and good aspects of our family and our heritage.