Communication and Culture

For my assignment this week, I took three surveys on communication and listening styles. These were the Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Scale and the Listening Styles Profile.

After completing the surveys, I found that I scored a 23 on the Communication Anxiety Inventory. Accordingly, I am a level low and this shows that I am comfortable “communicating in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters” (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009).

I scored a 73 on the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale which is considered high. This means that I “often resort to character attacks and ridicule when talking to others who do not share my viewpoints. My aggressiveness may cause anger, hurt feelings, and embarrassment, and will rarely, if ever, persuade the listener to my point of view” (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009). This surprised me since, according to the Listening Styles Profile, I was categorized as being in Group 1.

Group 1 embodies people who are people-oriented. This means that I am “empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. This listening style helps me to build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because I tend to be very trusting of others” (Rubin & Rubin, et al., 2009).

I was not surprised by the Communication Anxiety Inventory results nor the Listening Styles Profile. I am very comfortable speaking in any situation, enjoy meeting new people and speak in front of large crowds on a regular basis. The Listening Styles Profile was quite accurate in that I do care about the feelings of others and am very trusting of people. I believe like Anne Frank “that people are really good at heart” (2011). However, I was not surprised that I am verbally aggressive, but never imagined that I engage in character attacks.

I was not surprised to find that other sources that I chose to take the survey (a former colleague and my daughter) came to similar conclusions. I was always placed in Group 1 by every person who scored my listening style.My verbal aggressiveness scores ranged from 56-61, which puts me in the low to moderate category. My personal score had placed me in the high category. This shows that I was much harder on myself than my friends and family. The low to moderate category means that I am not engaging in character attacks, as stated by my own results, but that I am “respectful of the viewpoints and intelligence of others” and that I “maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints” (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009). This also indicates that I “attempt to change their minds with gentle, inoffensive suggestions that do not attack their self-concept” and that I have “the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position” (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher).

The information I gleaned from these surveys, and the results of others, have helped me develop some communication goals. While I will probably always be comfortable in speaking in crowds and with total strangers, I can focus on not always dominating the conversation. I can work harder to keep my mouth shut and listen more. I can continue to respect others and not attack a person's character when disagreeing. I can also work to focus on people and relationships when listening to others, but focus on the facts and data when I'm communicating information with the parents of my students.

Finally, “self-esteem refers to how one feels about oneself, usually in a particular situation” (O’Hair & Weimann, 2009). According to the results of these surveys, I have a very strong self-esteem and it comes through loud and clear in my speaking, listening and communication styles. It would behoove me to focus less on myself and more on others as I continue to engage in effective communication throughout my lifetime.

In this video, Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street show us that good communication can do a world of good!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0tyDqPPaSM&feature=related

Resources

Brainyquote. (2001-2011). Retrieved October 2, 2011 from http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anne_frank.html

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. “Communication Anxiety Inventory” and “Verbal Aggressiveness Scale” Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Routledge via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. “Listening Styles Profile-16” Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Taylor & Francis via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Communication

For my assignment this week, I was asked to: think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?  I contemplated this question all week and did not think I communicate any differently with my friends, whether Black, Native American or Asian. However, I do communicate differently with people at work and the parents of my students. I don’t speak Spanish and most of my students are Hispanic. I often use my hands to communicate and speak much more succinctly and slowly when communicating. Sometimes I draw pictures or even ask an older sibling to interpret what I am saying to the parents of my first graders. I also lean in and listen much more carefully. Of course, I conduct myself differently in casual social situations using informal communication, than I would say at church or in formal communication with colleagues. I don’t see myself having much informal communication with people at work and have to guard my words carefully, since I am a teacher.

Based on what you have learned this week, share at least three strategies you could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups you have identified. Some communication strategies we have learned this week are to look at people when they are talking and really listen to them. I have trouble with this and I justify it by thinking I am multi-tasking. My daughter often accuses me of not listening to her because I am not stopping and looking at her. This is one area that I have been working on. It’s very hard for me to sit still, be quiet and pay attention. I have been told I can do ten things to someone else’s one thing, and I pride myself in that. A second thing I learned was to validate people when they are talking and to keep my mouth shut. I can nod or say things like “uh-huh” to let them know I am really paying attention. A third thing I learned was not to take it so personally when people are texting. I observed a group of young people for an extended period of time. They were all communicating, laughing and talking and all never seemed to put their phones down. I was surprised that they were so comfortable and not offended. I’m definitely living in a different world than I grew up in!

Collaborating and Communicating in the Early Childhood Field - An Experiment

For my course in Collaborating and Communicating in the Early Childhood Field, my assignment this week is to: record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the SOUND TURNED OFF and respond to some questions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKWskRDtmRA&feature=relmfu

I chose to watch Melissa and Joey. After watching the show with sound, I learned that Melissa is the youngest councilwoman ever to be elected in her district. Joey is a businessman who lost his job in a scandalous Ponzi scheme being run by his firm. Melissa has a sister who is a convicted felon, and Melissa has custody of her two teenagers. Melissa ends up hiring Joey as a live-in cook and nanny to the children, Rider and Lennox.

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating? It is clear that Melissa is the boss and Joey works for her. It also looks like they are not happy with the situation. They seem to be arguing all the time. The people who play the children give off a very different message. They have softened facial expressions and seem to enjoy one another’s company. I was surprised by this, because so many television programs reflect teenagers as constantly fighting. They seem to enjoy the adults and don’t roll their eyes when being talked to. They are often smiling. They seem perky and good-natured. Their body language expresses a carefree lifestyle – that of a teenager.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing? Based on the ways they are communicating, I would say Melissa and Joey definitely do not like each other. They are self-driven and very animated. They make large gestures often and frown a lot. Their arms are often crossed and they lean in and point in one another’s faces. Their mouths are big and open when they talk and it looks like they are constantly arguing. They walk away while the other is talking and turn their backs on one another. They swing their heads back and roll their eyes while listening to the other person. Melissa’s hands are often on her hips and she is pointing her finger a lot. She seems to treat everyone the same way, Joey, her work colleagues, family and friends. However, Melissa and Joey’s body language also gives off the idea that a lot of sexual tension is going on between them. They use their bodies to flirt and their facial expressions also communicate flirting.

Then, I was to watch the show WITH SOUND respond to these questions:

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed? Surprisingly my assumptions about the adult characters were very accurate. They are constantly arguing. They are both very bossy, think they are in control and think the other person is always wrong. I was also surprised to find that I could pick up on this sexual tension between them without listening to any sound. However, I misread the teens. While they look happy and weren’t nearly as animated, they did act like typical teens and didn’t get along all that well.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well? I’m sure I would have made better assumptions about a show I watch regularly, but again, I was surprised at how I was able to pick up on much of their body language.

You should try this experiment. It was very enlightening.

Communication in the field of Education

I have just begun my course in Communication and Collaboration in the Early Childhood Field at Walden University. For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context and described what behaviors this person exhibits that make him or her effective?

The first person that comes to mind in answering this question is my husband. In 32 years of marriage, he has never once raised his voice to me. He is extremely calm and thoughtful. He conveys respect on every level when communicating with me and with others. He is not quick to speak and listens intently to what others are saying. He often responds slowly, because he is thinking before he speaks. He is professing all the information. He doesn’t spend time in idle talk – talking about nothing. When he speaks, I listen because I know he is going to say something important. I ask for his advice about everything, because he has a deep perspective that I don’t think I’ll ever attain. I believe this is, in part, because he listens to everything and everyone around him. I would definitely want to model my communication behavior after him. You would think that after living together all this time, I would be much more like him, but I’m not. Sad to say! I talk too much and too often about nothing. I don’t really listen to what others are saying and am too quick to judge and to state my opinion, as if it really mattes in the grand scheme of things.

According to the National Communication Association, my husband practices many of their recommendations:

1. We advocate truthfulness, accuracy, honesty and reason as essential to the integrity of communication.
2. We strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding to their messages.
3. We promote communication climates of caring and mutual understanding that respect the unique needs and characteristics of individual communicators.
4. We condemn communication that degrades individuals and humanity through distortion, intimidation, coercion, and violence, and through the expression of intolerance and hatred.
5. We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice

Just this week, I found myself saying some cruel things to someone and hurting their feelings. I make the excuse that it’s my nature and that I grew up with a parent that was like this, but there really never is any excuse for this kind of communication. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to go and take back all of the hurtful things that I have said to so many people throughout the years. Since I can't do that, I can pay careful attention to what I say, when I say it and how I say from now on.

O'Hair and Wiemann (2009). Real Communication. Beford/St. Martin's. Boston, MA.

Professional Hopes and Goals

Well, I’ve come to the end of my 8-week course on anti-bias education and diversity in the classroom. One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I will be more sensitive, receptive and responsive to the needs of the children and their families – that I will see each as unique and special individuals and treat them as such. I have already begun addressing issues of cultural diversity in my classroom on a daily basis. I have put up posters and quotes from people of all different ethnicities. I am using pictures and books that reflect a very diverse group of individuals. I am weaving discussions into the curriculum that address our unique differences, whether physical, racial, religious, cultural, etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yprbmGHKNg&feature=player_detailpage#t=48s

As a Christian, I believe and honor the tenet that we are all created equal. It is because of this belief that I didn’t think I harbored any real or overt prejudices. Throughout this course, however, I have been made aware of the little things that I do and say that may hurt others who are not like me or not the way I think they should be – who are from different cultures.

One goal I have the early field of childhood related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is that cultural diversity, equity and social justice will become part of the coursework for every bachelor’s degree in education on every campus across America. We must recognize that what we are doing, thus far, isn’t bridging the gap of equity and social justice within our educational system. We need more of a focus on anti-biased educational programs.

A brief note of thanks to my colleagues, with whom I have shared the past 8 weeks. I have learned much. I have grown. We have grown together. We have shared some deep insights, discussed many sensitive issues and even touched on some nerves. I am a better person inside for having gone through this course and for having known and worked with each of you. Thanks again and good luck in your future endeavors.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Fact: about 195 different countries exist in the world today.

Fact: according to the U.S. census bureau, the United States’ population includes individuals and families from 150 different countries

For my assignment this week I am to: choose a country of origin that represents a family who is new to the United States, list five ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards a family and describe ways that I hope these preparations will benefit both me and the family.

I chose China. Ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive are: research the internet and read about the country; visit local book stores to find books I can use in the classroom; visit the teacher’s store and purchase posters of people from this country to display in the room; plan my lesson plans around cultural holidays from this country, incorporate cultural foods into my science curriculum and cultural clothing or music into my social studies curriculum. I would invite family members in to read books in the native language, share foods, clothing and music. I would even begin to learn bits of the language, attend language classes, or ask the parents to help me learn the language. Being a Christian, I would visit a local church that serves this population of people – to see how they worship and listen to their music and see how families interact with one another. I would seek out cultural events in my community that celebrate these people and their culture. I would visit the family in their home. I would ask friends and relatives if they know people who have traveled to China or have anything that would help me with understanding the culture.

Learning as much as I can about the culture and incorporating this knowledge into the regular classroom setting will show the parents that I am culturally responsive, that every child is important to the program and that their family and culture are not only welcomed, but will be celebrated. Celebrating this cultural diversity at the early childhood level will help to promote the child’s personal, social and cultural identities, as well as promote anti-bias from the group as a whole. The message will be that everyone is equally special and important. Since “young children are naturally curious about their own and others’ physical and cultural characteristics” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010 p. 12) it will give the students opportunities to have their questions answered in constructive ways. Instead of being singled out by other children, the child from another country will be celebrated. This will lend the much needed encouragement and support and hopefully lessen the culture shock of being in a new country.

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

In my master's course, we are talking about prejudice and inequity. We were asked to answer these questions:

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

I ended up going to high school in the middle of desegregation and was bussed to the “black” side of town. I was white and grown up in the same neighborhood, with the same friends, going to the neighborhood church and school. My world was very small. The tension was terrible. I remember a lot of fighting, yelling and screaming. A black girl beat me up on the bus one time. I was one of just a handful of whites getting on the all-black bus. I was the last one to get on and had jeers and stares. The black bus driver was no help. On my first day of school, a black teacher looked right and me and yelled “we don’t want you here anymore than you want to be here!” That set the tone for my entire high school career. To put it mildly, high school was “hell”! My brother ended up on drugs and alcohol and my sister ended up dropping out. This happened to other friends of ours. The only reason I completed school was that I knew I had to graduate to go to college and being an elementary teacher was all I ever wanted. I was mostly alone until my junior year, when I met two more white girls feeling the same way I did. I kept to myself and made sure that I didn’t go down the “black” hall or into the “black” bathrooms. On more than one occasion, I was pushed into a wall or locker and propositioned by black basketball players. I genuinely felt threatened every day of my high school life and began to hate black people in general as a result of the prejudice against whites.

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

As mentioned above, I was not able to go down certain halls or even certain bathrooms. I wasn’t helped in the library and had no sympathy from teachers or even the school counselors. I was not part of the dominant black culture and was hated. I felt attacked on a daily basis by my Black English teacher. When I would ask her questions, she would answer in demeaning ways and imply that I was stupid. My history teacher used several occasions to openly embarrass me. As a teacher, I now see that the entire culture was against desegregation and adults were taking it out on the students, as well as each other. I only remember two white teachers during my stay at high school.

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

I was fearful for my life. There were knifings and riots at most football and basketball games. I feared being raped by black boys and was propositioned on many occasions. I felt threatened and was made to feel stupid.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

Desegregation would have had to end and allow me to go back to the white high school on the white side of town with all of the friends I grew up with. My best friend’s parents put her into private school to avoid this process. I guess they knew what was coming politically and socially. We met the first day of kindergarten. Our mothers got to know each other, and my mother took care of her for the rest of my school life, until high school. We were practically sisters and are still friends today. When we talk about this situation, she was able to enjoy her high school life in a private, white school and felt safe, secure and loved. For a long time, I blamed my parents for not being able to send me to another school or for not moving away. I also blamed my mother, who didn’t work, for not getting up and taking me to school so I could avoid being on the bus. So, not only did I have all the fears, nightmares and constant verbal attacks, I grew to resent my own parents. I never went through teenage rebellion and was a model child, according to them. This incident sent me into deep depression, which I have battled to this day. I turned completely inward and withdrew from society in general. I stopped eating and probably was anorexic for some years, even though I wasn’t diagnosed. This moment in time has scarred me and I made sure that my children didn’t attend public school at all. I look at most black people through the eyes of my high school experience, even though one of my best friends is black.